Tonight was quite the night. It started off really well, we had dinner, then went out to play some Frisbee. Then it happened…. the meltdown.We ran the gambit of it all, from him crying, to yelling, to getting a couple little spankings, to calmly talking about what he was freaking out about. (Yes, calm worked the best, mindful I take that approach quicker next time.) Once we talked it out he had a quick shower and calmed down.
Afterwards, you could see that he was remorseful for his actions, but as a parent I felt it was better not to dwell on that, but to use it as an opportunity to grow.
So I asked, do you want to know what helps me stay calm?
Sure Daddy.
I sit. Do you want to try again to sit like Buddha?
Yes, I do.
So we go in the room and sit on pillows facing one another. I talk him through sitting down, straightening his back and neck like he’s holding up the ceiling with the top of his head, cross his legs, fold his hands, and we talk about breathing.
When you get a thought, let it come and go without attaching to it.
Why?
We are working on a clear mind. Thoughts will always come and go, but right now we’re working to calm your mind.
OK.
And we sit. He asks this; and I nod my answer. He asks that; I nod my answer. He asks something else; I smile and give a little motion to quiet. He looks here, there, and all around. Then you can see the tension go; it releases from him and you can see it.
He’s quiet for a while, just sitting. It’s been about ten minutes at this point. I calmly ask him, how is it?
Good Daddy.
And I tuck him in bed the for night. Calm. Hopeful I taught him half as much as he taught me.
